In my mere 18 years of living, I've come across this situation many times. Personally and not. And no, it's not in relation to having sex or not.
Consider this,
Guy: I really like you.
Girl: Oh really? Um, thank you. I'm flattered, but I only like you as a friend.
Guy: Um...*pause* What do you mean you only like me as a friend?!?!
Okay, so maybe the guy wouldn't exactly say that but it'd probably be something akin to that. But you have to admit, it's a pretty common situation. A guy tells a girl they like her and she doesn't like him back in the romantic way. This throws the guy off because he automatically thought that if he tells a girl he likes them, they'll tell him they reciprocate his feelings and then they skip off into the sunset with their hands intertwined.
Okay that might happen, if the girl likes them that much to begin with but more often than not that isn't the case.
Why can't guys get it through their heads that girls don't automatically have to like you if you tell them you like them? Maybe this is really only applies for stubborn and/or arrogant guys... who knows?
If a girl doesn't like you in that way then it's probably a good idea to take a hint and step back. If you keep pushing, you're more likely to make her like you LESS, rather than MORE. And when she says that she only wants to be your friend, take the offered friendship and leave it at that!
I also hate it when feelings are reciprocated and confessed, there always appears to be an automatic acceptance that the two people are henceforth known as a couple and are dating. Just like that. But I'll save that for another post.
BTW, I was cautioned that this post may lead to speculations about the dumb shits I was annoyed at in the previous post but this has nothing to do with them!!!
*This wasn't a post about Queensland but I promised Kat and Alice this post a few weeks ago.*
13 comments:
i was going to comment on this but i realised, i dont know or have known any scenario where a guy expects the girl to like them back just cause they confessed. maybe more of the point of hoping the girl will like them back, buut not a guaranteed expectation. not every guy and girl goes together.
i do understand the action of pursuing a girl though of hoping the girl will END UP liking you later on after knowing you a bit better, cause after all you can't judge a book by its cover. eg. maybe you find out you share something in common that was not expected.
i was going to reply to your last paragraph but i will wait for the other post to understand more about what your saying::)
while there is no doubt in my mind that reciprocal love is bad~ and i agree that no girls should say yes just because you feel "sorry"
but i want to ask, what is the guy to do?
assuming the guy is genuine to begin with, his admittance to the girl is true and sincere, but all he can do now is be a friend?!?!
So, my question is, what is the guy, who took a step back & back into the friendship zone, to do now?
Sure he can find another one but it's going to take some time, and this temporal moment could be hard for some gents.
and while i'm at it, let's flip the question around, what is a girl to do if she gets rejected?
and i think i moved away from your central theme of your post~ for that, i'm sorry!
not to be harsh bon, i think it's just happened to you too many times.. =D
as a matter of fact in most situations, they do in fact like each other, at least alil bit, because they can tell there's a connection. either that or the guy's really thick or the girl is doing something to provoke that there is something.
i have much more to say, but i'll shut up before someone screams at me.
@Yi: Hahaha, perhaps that's the truth.
To be honest, I can't even remember the original reason why I decided to blog about this (and consequently the points I had to argue it for).
This was another reason why I wasn't sure if I should post anything about the opposite sex on my blog. It just opens another big can of fat, juicy worms... T___T
HAY GUYS
i will giv the tipz here, courtesy of Bon Dating Services.
1) confidece and humor is teh winnarz. remember. CONFIDENCE. don't get so hung up if you get knocked back, it's bound to happen.
2) do not PURSUE a girl. ur objective instead is to have FUN. make the time fun and attractionz will follow. believe me.
3) don't put the girl so high up on a pedestal, treating her overly formal/polite etc. she does not relate that to romance. refer to point 1 + 2.
OK?! GO TEAM!
If you would like MOAR tips. I do private sessions at a nominated fee.
Yours
Yat
Hahaha, ♥ you Yat!
Couldn't have said it better myself, Yat.
There's nothing worse than an overly pushy guy.
I would just like to add onto Yat's comments...
4)Leave the girl ALONE! dont msg or call her all the time,leave her alone on msn, cos if u dont, she'll get pissed off at u being so leechy.
5)Let her call you, let her start the convo and be the icebreaker. Then you'll know that shes interested in you... if that does not happen... shes prob not interested.
6)There are many fishies out in the sea! move on! life's too short to squabble about who liked who and be so pansy about relationships! every hour u sit here and talk abt this, ur wasting ur time (jst like me right now!!!)
Make the most of it!
7)If u realised that she actually did like you and didnt give you the hints early on, then screw it! She lost and you kinda won...
As you can tell this is from a very bitter guys perspective.
Au revior!
Au revoir!
MATE YOU NEED LIGHTEN UP MOAR.
Yat
Interactive vote:
Would you like tips on:
1) Where is the line between being pushy and assertiveness
or
2) Help! Dating is too damn expensive in Sydney! Petrol is 1.60 OMGGgggg
Voting closes at Midnight tonight. GOOD LUCK.
Yat
Go green~
Ride a bike!~
and while we're all at it...
BONNIE WILL YOU MARRY ME ALREADY!??!?!?! comooooooon!!!
Thankyou for that very insightful post Bon!
This has just redoubled my own belief that an easy solution out of this is to just let the girl confess to the guy first. =D
But of course, many feminine readers will fervently shake their heads and say that they will never do such a thing! They will insist on giving hints instead to the guy and if the guy doesn't get it then 'he's not worth it'. But I just have to wonder who's victory is it if said girl were to make such a decision? Surely not the guy's, since he's oblivious to it in the first place, and 'nothing comes out of nothing'. Surely not the girl's either, since at the end of the day, she's the only one who knows what has happened.
But now, suppose the opposite has happened. Guy takes "hint" (whether it really is a hint is irrelevant at this point) and asks the girl out. I don't see you complaining that he has already taken that first step. I only see the complaint addressing what to do if said girl were to refuse said guy. Really now, what a dilemna! XD
(I just noticed btw, I write longer comments than I do my own blogs lol~~)
-Cam
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