I think that there is a certain point in time where parents have to learn to start letting go of the iron grip they have on their children.
Whether this is starting in high school or when high school finishes is dependent on the parents.
But I think that by uni parents should be treating their children as adults... as much as possible anyway. (We all know that, to a degree, we'll always be treated as our parents' children no matter our age.)
I think it's a bit too much if parents are still interrogating their children who they're out with, where they're going, what they're doing, what time they're coming home, how they're coming home etc. if their children are already in uni. Granted that they're not completely out of control with all the partying that goes hand-in-hand with uni.
(Studying is still important unless you're aiming to fail!)
I say this simply because by the time they're in uni they are either already 18 years old or will be turning 18 years old within their first year of uni and thus are considered adults by society.
What good does it do an individual if society treats them as adults and expects them to act as such but are always treated like a baby by their parents?
Both my parents worked a lot during my primary and high school days so I didn't have them around as much as you would in traditional families. This gave me a lot of freedom with what I could get away with - as the saying goes, 'What they don't know can't hurt them.'
But in knowing this, I learnt to respect and be grateful for them for trusting me so much.
They trusted me not to go out and get drunk, do drugs, get pregnant, turn into a murderer and what not.
I guess this is why I find it a bit unreasonable when there are people I know of where their parents don't allow them to go to half of Sydney because it's 'unsafe' and don't allow their children to go out simply because there isn't an adult to babysit them for the whole outing.
In a way, it makes me feel as though they're contributing to their children missing out on events and experiences.
Sometimes you just gotta let them go to face the big bad world on their own cos sometimes that's the only way you'll be able to learn something.
And I think that's a good thing. Just make sure the child is well educated in being street smart!
4 comments:
Most of the time I think my parents are reasonable, but of course there's always times where you argue with them what you perceive as "fine" e.g. staying out til 4am and their perception of "fine". At the end of the day, its a matter of trust between parent & daughter and they are really only looking out for you.
think you have to understand that sometimes they want what is best for you, but i guess they don't want you making the same mistakes that they did
I agree with both of you.
It's a bit of give and take from both sides, not just one.
Yeah I have the same problem too, but I hear if you ever have kids you'll probably end up being more overprotective than your own parents lol.
Doesn't take a lot to really screw your life over to be honest and as young members of society we should still take advice from those who are more experienced at life than us! eg: the respectable older people. aka parents and what not.
Then there's of course us, screaming that they don't understand that times are different now etc etc...but then we all know that history has a habit of repeating itself.
Fact is, your parents are always going to view you as their children, because quite frankly you are. especially asian ones, stereotypically anglos are much tougher in most cases...move out and get a job once you hit 18 lol. tough love ;)
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